Ranger Talk
by snickermoon814
Summary: Park Ranger Gajeel Redfox didn't see anything wrong with skipping out on the ranger talk he was scheduled to give that evening—after all, hardly any people had showed. So why was there a blue-haired shrimp yelling at him like it was the end of the world? Gajevy ranger AU. Oneshot.


Near the edge of the vast stretch of wild and beautiful land of Magnolia National Park, Ranger Gajeel Redfox sat slumped dejectedly in his prized leather swivel chair in the center of his office within the administrative cabin. He had just been informed by the new kid (what was his name again? Romeo?) that Laxus had come down with a cold and lost his voice, so Head Ranger Makarov was assigning him, Gajeel, to take over the blond ranger's talk that evening.

Gajeel groaned. He absolutely detested giving talks, generally because people were usually too intimidated by his wild mane of jet black hair, reddish eyes, and multiple piercings to actually listen to what he was saying. As a result, he typically ended up feeling frustrated and that the whole thing was pointless.

All he really wanted to do right then was go home to his apartment in the town neighboring the park. The black haired ranger had had a gruesomely long day, and he needed to go buy some food for his cat, Pantherlily. But no, now he had to go lecture a bunch of bratty kids and snobby adults who would ignore him anyway. He briefly contemplated just ditching, but then an image of Erza and Mirajane glaring daggers flashed through his head, and he shuddered.

And so, at seven o'clock that evening, the wild haired ranger found himself stomping cantankerously towards the amphitheater where the talk was to take place. As he approached the stage, he felt his irritation rising. There weren't even ten people there, and three of them were bickering kids. Scowling, he folded he arms and leaned against the wall of the stage. _I'll give it five minutes,_ he decided. _If there aren't more than ten people by then, I'm outta here._

Five minutes came and went, and no one else arrived. Gajeel smirked and, pulling the brim of his ranger hat low on his face, started to stroll jauntily off the stage. He got as far as the steps off the stage before someone spoke.

"Excuse me, sir, but where are you going?"

Gajeel glanced back in surprise, but didn't see anyone. "Huh?"

"I asked where you're going, mister."

The voice was coming from…underneath him? He looked down and blinked. Standing before the stage was the tiniest woman he'd ever laid eyes on. Honestly, he wasn't even sure she was human—maybe a fairy? After all, no human could have such delicate limbs or such soft, shining blue hair (no, he wasn't hallucinating, it was actually blue), or be giving him such a strange look, like he'd been raised by a dragon or something.

"Whaddaya want, shrimp?" he growled.

Her left eye twitched at the name. "I'm sorry, but are you leaving the amphitheater?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

She looked scandalized. "What do you mean? You can't do that! What about the talk?"

Gajeel shrugged. "Not enough people showed, so I'm not giving it."

"You—"

"Oi, what's your problem shorty?" he interrupted her. "So what if I don't give it?"

Rage clouded her pretty face. "My problem?" she hissed. "My problem is that you think you're too high-and-mighty to give the talk you're supposed to just because not enough people _flocked_ to hear your words of wisdom!"

He folded his muscular arms. "I still don't see the problem."

The tiny woman appeared ready to try and strangle him (he wished her luck with that—he doubted those twigs she called arms could even get around his waist, let alone her fingers on his neck).

"Just because," she said slowly and clearly, as if he was too thick to understand, "hordes of people haven't come to hear the talk doesn't mean that the people who _did_ show up should have to leave with nothing."

The ranger wasn't sure if he should burst out laughing or back away in fear. "Look shrimp, that's not—"

"—going to happen, because you're going to march that metal-studded butt of yours back to the middle of the stage and give that talk. And don't call me shrimp!"

"I'll call you what I want, especially if you're gonna try and order me around."

Her hands flew to her hips. "Don't be an arrogant jerk and maybe I won't order you around."

Gajeel was aware that the other people were staring at them (hell, they probably thought that this was a better show than the talk) and sighed. Squatting down low on the edge of the stage so he could be (almost) level with the shrimp, he asked her quietly, "Why does it matter so much to you if half a dozen people hear a ranger talk or not? Are you that much of a nature freak?"

She looked him straight in the eyes with her shining hazel ones.

"Because every person, regardless of how small or insignificant, deserves to receive something just as much as a collective group of people do. They all matter."

What was with this woman? He didn't even know her name, and yet in the course of a few minutes she'd almost completely undone him. He gazed appraisingly at her for a moment before straightening.

"Fine," he grunted. "But siddown already, you're making a scene."

The shrimp blinked in surprise before her face broke out in one of the most blinding smiles the ranger had ever seen. For an instant he couldn't move, lost in the warmth that seemed to radiate off her, and then the spell broke as she spun around and headed back to her seat.

 _What the hell is wrong with me?_ Gajeel wondered. _Why am I listening to some pint-sized chick with a soft spot for the minority?_ He mentally shook himself and strode back to the center of the stage. He'd think about it later.

Facing his audience, the ranger cleared his throat. "So, a certain shorty," he flashed a wicked grin in the blue-haired woman's direction, "has brought it to my attention that you folks do in fact want a talk, despite there not being enough if you here to fill a sardine can. Well, it's your lucky day, because I've gone from my mood being lousier than the weather here in February to relatively decent.

"Now, Magnolia. Each of you obviously came here for a reason, be it because you're nature freaks, bored, sick of work, or have obnoxious in-laws. Regardless of what it is though, each of you are gonna come outta this with something new to shove in your friends' faces, if you've got any. I'm ranger Redfox, and how many of you…"

* * *

Twenty-five minutes later, Gajeel had finished the talk and begun to pack up his demonstration kit. To his surprise, as he had spoken people had silently filed into the seats, and by the conclusion the amphitheater was almost completely filled. Still more surprising was the fact that the people had actually _listened_ to him (damn, even the kids had shut up once he got into his stride! Although, that may have been due to the death glares he was sending them rather than the appeal of his talk).

He heard footsteps approaching him and without turning, said, "Hey there, shrimp."

There was a huff of annoyance and he smirked.

"So whaddaya want now, eh?" He zipped his bag shut.

She coughed awkwardly. "Well, I kinda feel bad for blowing up on you back there, and I, uh, wanted to apologize."

The ranger stood and faced her. "What for? You were right about what you said. Every person _is_ important. Even one as tiny as you, shorty." He flicked her forehead.

"Hey!" she snapped. "Don't do that! And quit calling me shrimp, will you?!"

A chuckle rumbled from deep within his chest. "Well since I don't know your name, I'm gonna keep callin' you that."

The blue haired woman blinked and then giggled. "Oh. Ha, I didn't think of that. I'm Levy, Levy McGarden. I'm a chaperone for Camp Fairy Tail, and I had to take those three kids over there to this talk as a punishment for misbehaving."

"You took some kids to my talk as a punishment? I find that rather insulting."

Levy blushed. "It's not like that… they were fighting and the head counselor forbade them from taking part in the games tonight. I felt bad that they should just have to sit there and watch, so I brought them here in hopes they would still have a good time. And I think they did, too."

He raised a studded eyebrow at her. "You _think_ they did."

"Here, why don't you ask them yourself? Hey munchkins!" she called to the three kids sitting on the bench. "Come over here for a second."

Three boys ran up. Two of them had black hair, but for some reason the one of them was missing his shirt and the third boy's hair was a salmon pink and he had a scaly white scarf wound around his neck.

Levy ruffled the pink-haired boy's locks affectionately. "This troublemaker here is Natsu, and the one with the stripping habit is Gray. And this guy," she pointed the other black haired boy standing behind the others silently, "is Natsu's older brother Zeref. Boys, this is Ranger Redfox."

"Hi Ranger Redfox," the boys chorused.

"Why don't you three tell the good ranger what you like about his talk?"

Zeref spoke up first. He looked to be several years older than the other two, maybe twelve or thirteen with messy black hair, pale skin, and heavy shadows under his eyes. "I enjoyed your descriptions of the various wildlife, flora, and fauna," he murmured quietly. "They were truly educational."

 _Is this kid making fun of me?_ Gajeel wondered. "Uh, thanks."

"I liked it when you showed the skull of that bear that was killed in that fire!" Natsu exclaimed. "The scorch marks were so cool."

"What are you talking about?" Gray glared at the other boy. "The antler of the moose that was frozen to death is way cooler."

"What'd you say, ice princess?" Natsu raised a fist menacingly. "Death by fire is so much more awesome!"

"Only in Loserville, flame brain!"

The two boys began to squabble, striking each other and punctuating each blow with an insult. Zeref attempted to break them up and received a wallop to the nose in reply. He sank to the floor, stunned.

"Oh no boys, not again, _please—_ "Levy started, but broke off as both as both kids were hoisted into the air by their arms.

"That's enough, small fry. Break it up."

Natsu and Gray both looked up see the terrifying face of Gajeel grinning in a shark-like manner. They squeaked and apologies began to tumble from their mouths like an avalanche.

"We're really sorry."

"We won't do it again!"

"We'll be nice."

"Sorry!"

Gajeel shook his head. "Don't apologize to me, apologize to the kid whose nose you just smashed in." He nodded towards Zeref, who was still on the floor, clutching his face.

"Aah, big bro!" Gajeel dropped Gray and Natsu, the latter scrambling over to his brother. "I'm so sorry!"

"Idz okay," Zeref said thickly. "I don' dink idz broken, juzt kinda zore."

"Oh dear," Levy muttered as she rushed over to check on the boy. "How the heck am I going to explain this to Mr. Gildarts?"

The ranger knelt to inspect Zeref's nose. "It's alright, just a bit bruised. It'll heal up in a couple of hours. And don't worry Levy, just tell your boss that he walked into a tree or something. It happens often enough here."

Gray stared. "Really?"

"No, but who's gonna argue with the ranger?"

The three boys laughed.

"Really, I don't know how to thank you for all of this," Levy said to him as the boys looked for their bags. "First you let me yell at you, then you do what I rudely asked, and you even helped me with my boys."

"Well, I can think of a way for you to thank me," Gajeel said smugly.

"Eh? How?"

"Go out with me."

"…What?"

"Just for a drink. Cup of coffee, tomorrow morning. I'll tell your camp you're helping me out with ranger stuff."

"I, uh, alright, I guess," Levy stammered, her cheeks lightly dusted with pink. She turned towards the kids. "C'mon boys! Let's go."

They hurried over obediently, and the four of them turned to leave. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow…?" Levy realized she'd never gotten the ranger's first name.

"Gajeel," he supplied. "Gajeel Redfox. And you bet you will."

The blue haired chaperone went pink again as she started off with her charges.

Zeref was silent for a moment before he asked, "Would you please imvite us to da wedding, Miz McGarden?"

Over by the stage, Gajeel heard the question and subsequent sputters of shock in reply, and grinned.

"Count on it, kid."

* * *

The next morning a blushing Levy McGarden had coffee with Park Ranger Gajeel Redfox, and swore that it was a one-time even and would never reoccur. She soon revised her oath to a double event, and then a triple. Soon she found herself (without any idea how it happened) making excuses to go see him even when it wasn't for their morning coffee. At one point the Dragneel brothers and Gray began fabricating cover stories for her to go run off and spend time with him.

After a few weeks, however, Camp Fairy Tail left Magnolia, taking Levy and the boys with it. Gajeel moped for a solid month, before Erza and Mirajane cornered him. After a somewhat lengthy and awkward conversation ("You're in love with her and you haven't even kissed her yet? What kind of man are you?"), the ranger grit his teeth and marched into the jewelry store.

It was the middle of September and Gajeel was sitting his swivel chair again, spinning around and fingering the velvet box in his hand out of habit. When the knock on his door finally came, he had a feeling he knew who it was, and was right. The ranger then proceeded to drag the blue haired ex-chaperone to his favorite tree in the park and pulled out the box.

Levy had clearly not been expecting a sapphire ring (Gajeel had made sure that it matched her hair as closely as he could get it), but after a moment of stunned silence, she happily accepted.

And when they kissed under his favorite tree, Gajeel couldn't help but think that maybe now, ranger talks weren't all that bad.

(The wedding invitations were sent out two months later, and the ranger made sure that the Dragneel brothers and Gray Fullbuster got one each.)

E.N.D.

* * *

 **A/N Well, this was definitely one of the cheesiest things I've ever written. Oh well.**

 **The events of the first half of the story actually happened. My family and I were at Yellowstone, and not too many people showed up to the talk. The ranger saw that and also saw his girlfriend, and it was easy to see which one HE was more interested in. My mother did not appreciate that. She proceeded to give that poor ranger a piece of her mind ("I came for a talk, and by golly, I'm going to get one!" she declared), part of which was written down in this story. I found that incident immensely amusing, so I decided to turn it into an opportunity to spread more lovely Gajevy to the world.**


End file.
